Christmas is often a time of excitement, tradition and togetherness for children. However, for parents who share care, the festive period can also bring additional emotional and practical challenges. With thoughtful planning and a child-focused approach, shared parenting at Christmas can still be a positive and reassuring experience for everyone involved.
The most important principle during the festive season is that children come first. Christmas may look different from year to year, but children benefit most from consistency, calm and the reassurance that they are free to enjoy time with both parents. A peaceful Christmas, even if shared across two homes, is far more valuable than one overshadowed by tension.
Planning ahead is essential
Arrangements for Christmas should ideally be discussed well in advance and clearly agreed. This includes where children will be on key dates, how handovers will work and how traditions will be managed. Some families alternate Christmas Day each year, others split Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, while some agree that one parent has Christmas and the other has New Year. There is no single “right” approach and what matters is clarity and predictability for children.
Flexibility also plays an important role
Emotions can run high at Christmas and being willing to make small adjustments can help avoid unnecessary stress. Allowing extra contact, adjusting timings or being accommodating around family events can all help children feel supported rather than torn between households.
Communication should remain respectful and child-focused
Discussions about arrangements should be practical and calm, avoiding old disputes. Where communication is difficult, written agreements or parenting apps, such as OurFamilyWizard, can help keep things clear and reduce conflict. Children should never be used as messengers or exposed to adult disagreements.
Maintaining familiar traditions or creating new ones can help children feel secure
Celebrating Christmas on different days in each household is often just as special for children and allows them to enjoy meaningful time with both parents without pressure.
Shared parenting at Christmas is not about perfection. It is about cooperation, consideration and keeping children’s wellbeing at the centre of decisions.
Should you wish to discuss any of the above, please get in touch with our team and one of our family solicitors will be able to meet with you to advise you on your options.
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