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Blog

Contact with my children didn’t go to plan over Christmas.  What do I do now? 

13th January 2025 by Brittany Thomas Posted Under: Child Law, Divorce, Family Law

The festive period can be a busy and stressful time at the best of times, but when you’re separated and have children it can be incredibly difficult.  It may be that you made plans with regards to seeing the children over the Christmas holidays, and yet it didn’t quite work out as you had expected.  There can be a variety of reasons for this, but ultimately, you don’t want that to happen again.  So, what do you do now? 

  1. Informal Arrangements: You could seek to agree on matters informally with the other parent.  These arrangements can be great as they can be flexible to work around everyone’s busy schedules.  While such informal arrangements are often the most convenient and are often used where the situation is amicable, they can sometimes break down, leading to disputes.  Where such arrangements do break down, it can be very difficult to enforce what was informally agreed, because the agreement in and of itself was informal.
  1. Formal Arrangements:  You may feel that you require the input of a solicitor regarding making the arrangements for the children more formal.  A solicitor acting on your behalf could put forward your proposals for arrangements for the children to the other parent (or equally a solicitor acting on their behalf) and negotiate for you.  This would mean that matters are slightly more formalised, and you are not required to have those discussions directly with your ex-partner, as they might lead to tensions and/or dispute. 
  1. Minute of Agreement (also known as a Parenting Agreement):  You may have agreed matters with the other parent (either with or without the assistance of a solicitor) but you wish to now formalise it by having matters recorded in writing.  In such a situation you could seek to enter into an Agreement which outlines how you aim to co-parent the children. Whilst it should be noted that such Agreements are not strictly legally binding documents, they do serve as a useful tool for parents to establish clear expectations and responsibilities in relation to the care and upbringing of their children. Such contracts are designed to help reduce conflict, and provide structure, ensuring the best interests of the child are prioritised.
  1. Mediation: Mediation is where you both attend a meeting with a trained mediator and that mediator would then facilitate an open discussion between you both.  This would be with a view to moving the parties towards reaching an agreement regarding arrangements for the children, which will be acceptable to both of them.
  1. Court Orders for Contact/Residence: It may be that you feel that you have tried the above options and yet you still feel as if matters aren’t agreed and/or you are having issues with the arrangements.  When parents cannot agree on contact arrangements, matters can be brought before the Court to make a determination.  The Court would (in due course) issue a formal order specifying the exact terms for the arrangements for the children. This may include details about where and when contact should take place. Such an order is legally binding, and failure to comply could result in significant legal consequences but can be both a lengthy and expensive process.

We know that spending time with your children is important and that you want to be able to do so without the worry of how (or if) it will be agreed and if it will be adhered to.  If you feel that you are in that situation and want some help or guidance in relation to any of the five options set out above, or indeed anything else, then please do contact us and we can arrange to discuss matters further. 


DISCLAIMER

The content of this page is for information only. It is not intended to be construed as legal advice and should not be treated as a substitute for specific advice. Gibson Kerr Ltd accepts no responsibility for the content of any third party website to which this webpage refers. Gibson Kerr Ltd is regulated by the Law Society of Scotland

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Surrogacy Arrangements in Scotland: What you need to know

5th March 2025

Child Contact and Residence: with rights come responsibilities

28th February 2025

Navigating Divorce: What to Expect at the Early Stage

6th February 2025

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