Taking the decision to separate from your spouse can feel like an emotional rollercoaster—full of confusion, uncertainty, and often, a sense of loss. If you’ve found yourself at the beginning of such a journey, you’re likely wondering what you can expect and how best you and your family can navigate through this difficult time. In the same way that every family is unique, so is every separation and divorce, and we seek to work with you in order to provide you with tailored advice. By gaining a better understanding of what to expect during the early stages, you can feel much better equipped to proceed down this path.
The Emotional Impact
The early stages of separation and divorce are often marked by intense emotions – we see this as family lawyers on an almost daily basis. Whether you saw the separation coming or it came as a complete shock, you’ll likely experience a range of feelings, and these feelings are not linear. It’s completely normal to feel sadness, anger, confusion, relief, or even guilt. There might also be a sense of disbelief, especially if you were in a long-term relationship. Again, we as family solicitors know this and are ready to factor that in for when you come to meet with us. We will seek to work with you at your pace and will take your instructions to ensure that we’re acting in line with what you are comfortable with.
Separation: The First Step
Once you’ve made the decision to separate, many couples feel that the first official step is usually physical separation. Whether that’s moving out of the family home or deciding to live in different areas of the same house, this change can be overwhelming. These steps can very often also have legal consequences and so it is therefore important to discuss them with your family lawyer before you take any such steps – particularly where you are not sure on how you wish to proceed in the short and long term.
Establishing Boundaries
Whether you’re living under the same roof, or not, it would always be sensible to try to agree on basic rules, such as living arrangements, shared responsibilities, and how best to communicate with one another and the children. This may assist in reducing the level of conflict between you and your spouse and provides a sense of control during an emotionally charged period of time in your lives. It may be that you don’t yet feel comfortable, or confident, in having such a conversation with your spouse, and if so, then we as your solicitors are more than happy to so on your behalf – be that writing to your spouse directly or communicating with the solicitor that they have instructed.
Financial Provision on Divorce
This can be one of the most complicated and contentious parts of a separation. We would always recommend speaking to a solicitor specialising in Scots Family Law as early as possible to receive advice. We will be able to advise you about the importance of ingathering and valuing the matrimonial assets and liabilities as at the date of separation. We would also discuss the circumstances of your marriage and separation and provide you with tailored advice on that basis. Equally, if you have children, child maintenance payments and childcare arrangements will need to be addressed in early course. Again, we can assist you in guiding you through what can be viewed as a legal maze. Even if your separation is amicable, obtaining good quality legal advice can ensure you’re making informed decisions – which can be incredibly beneficial for you and your family in the long run.
Financial Position post-Divorce
You may be going from running one household with two incomes, to running two separate households on one income stream. As such, it may be sensible to consider speaking with a financial advisor to help assess and understand what your financial situation will be post-divorce.
Childcare Arrangements – Contact and Residence
If you have children, one of your primary concerns will likely be the well-being of your children. Therefore, it is likely that decisions will need to be made early in the process about childcare arrangements, work schedules, and what co-parenting looks like for you both. These discussions and decisions can be difficult and often emotionally charged, but we as specialist solicitors know that keeping your children’s best interests at the forefront of the conversation is essential to you.
Conclusion
The early stages of a separation can very often feel like navigating uncharted, and sometimes choppy, waters. The emotional and practical challenges may seem overwhelming but we as family lawyers are here to advise you on your situation and your rights and responsibilities. Please do give us a call to arrange an appointment so that you can obtain advice with a view to ensuring that you’re well equipped to charter this next stage of your life.
If you would like to discuss this further, please get in touch with our Family Law Experts.
DISCLAIMER
The content of this page is for information only. It is not intended to be construed as legal advice and should not be treated as a substitute for specific advice. Gibson Kerr Ltd accepts no responsibility for the content of any third party website to which this webpage refers. Gibson Kerr Ltd is regulated by the Law Society of Scotland.